They honk at each other.

They honk at buses.

They honk at pigeons and seagulls.

They honk at me.

This past Thursday morning, I was going through my usual walking routine. I take one of three routes. What can I say? I like to mix it up. Anyway, during that particular morning’s walk, I was waiting at an intersection when I heard a Smart Car honk at an SUV who was already speeding through a yellow light.

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As I walked past the Smart Car, not looking at the driver, I bring my finger to my mouth making the “shhh” sign. What’s the driver do? He honks at me! Taking exception to having a horn honked in my general direction, I did the most logical thing I could: I gave him the finger. He responds with a longer honk of the horn.

Allow me to sidetrack for a moment here. The horn on a Smart Car isn’t the most manliest horn. It just doesn’t evoke a sense of fear or respect.

I’m continuing my walk to the BART station. I noticed he has rolled down his window and is giving me the evil eye and honks one last time. Karma was against him as he got stopped at another yellow light under the freeway. Window still down and evil eye still pointed at me, I look right at him and holler “What the fuck you gonna do?! Roll up your fuckin’ window before something happens to your little Hot Wheel car!”

The light turns green and he was gone. This woman walking behind me said, “Didn’t he realize you’re twice the size of that car?”

I laughed, and with that, my morning started out pretty well.